yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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