ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Actions speak louder than pants.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
