Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
