you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
