found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
