You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
