Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
