Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
