I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
