Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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