Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i black out too much to be "responsible"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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