Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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