That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
