so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
