I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I would ride that face into the sunset
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
