i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
