I'm eating all of the evidence.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
