do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
