sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
