Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
