Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
