I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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