she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
