Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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