I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
