It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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