am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Randomize
