the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
