I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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