Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
