Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize