I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
