He is an equal opportunity slut.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
