1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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