Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
