would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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