I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
