he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
