Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
