Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
