Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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