i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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