How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize