I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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