Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
