The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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