2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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