also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
