Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
