STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
