Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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