dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
