just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize