I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
