Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize