kristin has been a bad kristin
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
