I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
