Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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