Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
