I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
did i just pee glitter
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
