Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
