I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
