Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
