Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
